Its Those Damn Ovaries Again

Yet another delightful pelvic ultrasound -- only waaaaay more painful. The technician really wanted to get a good shot of the offending ovary, and my body raged against the intrusion. Such pain that it made the toes on my left foot spasm in an amusing fashion.

But I called upon my long-dormant meditation skills (it's a good thing that I started hatha yoga a few weeks ago) and got through it. Lucky me, I've got a cyst on each ovary -- which I knew about after the last ultrasound but because it's quiet most of the time, I hadn't given it much thought.

I was dreading going into work because I knew I would be emotional. So I talked to my former supervisor, who I knew would be understanding, and I allowed myself to have a few tears in front of her so I wouldn't let it out in front of my boss. My male boss...with whom I am very uncomfortable sharing my gynecological drama. He's British. Deb reminded me that my British male boss is a very good guy who has a wife and will most likely understand. I wiped away my tears, thanked her profusely, and went about my day.

I struck up a conversation with Marilyn (a seemingly permanent temp) who has been very concerned about me. As we were talking, one of the big bosses -- a woman -- walked by and caught some of the conversation. She shared with me her own experiences and I felt a great weight lift off my shoulders. I knew in that moment that I was ready to talk to my boss and everything would be alright.

So I did. And it was.

The larger issue that I'm facing is, what does this mean for my future plans? Anyone can tell me that this is nothing to worry about and it won't affect my fertility, etc. But I'm still terrified. And I won't have results for another week. Maybe I'll need surgery. Maybe they'll just tell me to take Advil. Maybe -- ugh -- they'll put me on the pill -- which would piss me off to no end.